the metric of possibility
(This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
Beth believed that everything would be okay. I had no injury and felt sure that nothing would ever be okay again. I blindly followed her lead and pretended there was hope when I saw none.
I watched as experts measured Beth for her own chair. Quadriplegics primarily used heavy power wheelchairs, and then for back up, a smaller, lighter push version. Big motorized chairs required a van with a lift, while manual chairs fit in most cars.
Beth had one question: “Will I get stronger faster using only a manual chair?”
Our favorite physical therapist, Laraine, paused and smiled before answering with a simple yes, clinching the verdict. No motorized chair. We replaced the car in the accident with a hatchback station wagon instead of an accessible van.
I let Beth make all the decisions about her care since between the two of us, she was the emotionally stable one.
I also thought that she should feel in charge of her life, especially with most of her body out of her control. I did raise questions, though, when she ordered a manual chair when she could barely push one. I wasted my breath.
Beth weighed every decision on the metric of possibility, on whether or not it might advance her goal to be less dependent.
My goal was to get through the days without crying in front of anyone.
“You don't really have time to cope with things,” Beth said. “You just kind of get thrown back into the world.”
5/23/2016 12:42:38 pm
You and Beth are such an inspiration
5/23/2016 07:21:52 pm
Thank you, Deb!
6/23/2016 06:01:58 am
We created a series of human powered vehicles for the disabled. Everyone has a story. If you call me I will tell you ours. My name is Wilson 973-277-1526
5/23/2016 04:20:00 pm
The longer I know Beth, the more I recognize her fierceness. I am in awe.
5/23/2016 07:25:05 pm
Yes, Beth awes me, too! ❤️
Mary K. Watson
5/23/2016 05:36:08 pm
I admire this family more with every piece that I read.
5/23/2016 07:39:05 pm
Thanks so much, Mary. I admire your family, too!
7/1/2016 10:28:43 pm
Great to hear a story regarding a person who was allowed without much conflict n everyone's 2cents worth but hear her voice of decision n reasoning for her as an individual. Yes manual chair is the best as exercise with regarding her arms will strengthen. Relying n moving any body part n using it is the ultimate goal including enhancing the brain. Loved ur story. I realise it was only a minute within the whole scheme of things u went through however appreciated u sharing it. I too wen in a wheelchair could not or did not have any strength to move myself but I'm glad I can n have started. I wasn't able to handle an electric chair bc my coordination n Neuton messaging wld cause accidents which to me is a pity bc this wld give me the ability to get out by myself when I want to outside or down to the shops. But not possible. I hate being dependant on anyone. N my brain is slow to recognise I'm unable to do things including holding a cup especially a plastic water cup lol but we all do our best. Thank u. I enjoyed ur story. Keep ur brain alive n exercise it by thinking n making decisions URSELF. That is independence some of us have to fight for n glad u do not have to . Well... Minimal at least. Keep going strong. If u feel ur not feeling strong within URSELF for what ever reason - write to me, talk to me n
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