STRUGGLING WITH SERENDIPITY
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Photos
  • Press and News
  • Resources

separation anxiety

10/11/2017

8 Comments

 
(This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)

​
The next health emergency gave us no warning. Thankfully, I wasn’t working at the group home on an early March morning when Beth woke up very ill. I drove her directly to the emergency room at St. Vincent in Toledo. I cut time off the hour drive, despite the morning rush hour.

A doctor quickly admitted her to intensive care.
 
After numerous tests, Beth acquired the diagnosis of peritonitis, a dangerous infection. The urologist who performed her bladder surgery told us they found extra fluid in the abdomen. The small bladder tear along a surgery seam would heal on its own if they kept the bladder empty.
 
The nurses also monitored her closely for sepsis—an even more frightening and potentially fatal condition. With it, the immune system went awry, spreading inflammation that could lead to organ damage, septic shock, and death. I learned later that sepsis is one of the leading causes of death for quadriplegics.
           
I stayed glued to Beth’s side in intensive care. I shared her alarm with the persistent high fever and strong abdominal pain, especially since she had limited sensation in her trunk. She never asked to look at her homework in the hospital and I never suggested it. I was polite but very involved with the medical staff. And I could be a little demanding at the nurse’s station when Beth needed something. With my sick daughter, I put on a brave face to reassure and comfort. Even though we both were frightened through the first days in intensive care with no improvement.
 
To keep things running at the group home, I made quick phone calls in the hallway where I met a dad soothing a baby with a failing heart, a mom entertaining her toddler with a brain tumor, and a grandma weeping about a terminal diagnosis. I didn’t share the details of those encounters with Beth. She very gradually felt better and her vitals improved.
 
When I drove her home after a scary week in the hospital, she didn’t feel invincible, so John Mayer sang her favorite song by himself from the CD player. We arrived in Tiffin bone-tired with strong antibiotics.
 
And a new perspective.
           
No longer a question, Beth and I wholeheartedly agreed that the seven hundred miles between Tiffin, Ohio and Harvard was definitely much too far for us to be separated in the fall. She made the decision to live in a dorm her freshman year while I stayed off-campus. We’d be in the same city, but I wouldn’t be her personal care assistant. I’d help set up her dorm room and be there for transition support. That was fine with me.
 
There was no way I could drop her off at a dorm in Massachusetts and return to Ohio. 
Picture
8 Comments
Peg Moir
10/12/2017 11:09:02 am

Oh my goodness, what a terrifying experience as a parent. Peritonitis and the possibility of sepsis (shudder) is so dangerous. And I applaud the decision to stay nearby - for many reasons. That health scare helped you both to see the necessity.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
10/16/2017 09:02:52 am

Thank you, Peg! Beth liked the idea of being on her own to start college, understandably so, but that scary week in the hospital clinched the decision. In hindsight, it was the right one. <3

Reply
Debra Gardner link
10/12/2017 03:43:28 pm

What a scary time! It’s so awesome seeing how much the two of you have overcome! Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
10/16/2017 09:52:01 am

I think sharing the tough times made the good times that much better! Thanks, Deb! :-)

Reply
Amy Henry link
10/13/2017 03:48:47 pm

Having spent time in the ICU and emergency rooms with immediate family members (twice in the last 2 months), I appreciate how scary it feels and the inner strength you have to maintain. Glad it all came out right.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
10/16/2017 09:56:23 am

Sorry to hear about your family emergencies, Amy! The fear can be hard to shake. I hope your hospital scares came out well, also!

Reply
Carla Burger link
1/6/2024 07:08:56 pm

Great readinng

Reply
Russian Escorts Kendall link
11/3/2024 11:43:52 pm

Very creaative post

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Cindy Kolbe

    Sign up for my Just Keep Swimming Newsletter by typing your email address in the box. Thanks!

    * indicates required

    Categories

    All
    Accident
    Adventure
    Anxiety
    Career
    Caregiving
    Chronic Pain
    College
    Counseling
    Depression
    Driving
    Fear
    Floating
    Friends
    Goals
    Graduation
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Group Home
    Guilt
    Harvard
    High School
    High School Swim Team
    Holidays
    Independence
    Injury
    Intensive Care
    Internship
    Job
    Moving
    Occupational Therapy
    Optimism
    Paralympics
    Paralympic Swim Team
    Perspective
    Physical Therapy
    Published Articles
    Rehab
    Road Trip
    Serendipity
    Spinal Cord Injury
    Sports
    Stanford
    Support
    Surgery
    Swim Club Team
    Swim Meet
    Swimming
    Travels
    Video
    Volunteering
    Writing

    Picture

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    Picture

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Photos
  • Press and News
  • Resources