STRUGGLING WITH SERENDIPITY
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rings of hope

6/22/2016

6 Comments

 
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(This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
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Beth arrived home to the realities of an inaccessible world. She wasn’t strong enough to wheel herself up the low incline of our new ramp and expended colossal effort to open the refrigerator. Her livable space shrunk without the second floor and basement.


I hated our small bathroom and our new shower chair. Nothing was easy. I desperately wanted to make things better and suggested moving to a more accessible home. She insisted that we stay put, and I resolved to try harder.

Three days later, Beth’s African Gray baby arrived to stay. The parrot stood nearly a foot high with striking gray and white shading. She named him Timber since he could not perch well, sometimes falling from a hand to a lap (tim-berrrr!), and because she had a crush on Justin Timberlake from N’Sync.

A typical fourteen year old in many ways, my youngest wanted to look her best for the start of school. A dentist put a cap on her chipped front tooth from the accident. Beth asked for a haircut and her first highlights. When we went shopping with Maria, a lady asked about her sister’s wheelchair.

“Some people assume I’m not intelligent because I am in a wheelchair,” Beth said. “They talk loud and slow when they first see me. When I do normal things such as moving around or crossing a threshold, some people will tell me ‘good job!’ like it is the most amazing thing.”

Beth's friend Elizabeth (and Elizabeth’s mom) surprised her with an extraordinary gift, an elegant silver and gold ring with a small diamond, engraved with the word HOPE. Her five closest friends wore identical rings. The friends planned to pay for the rings until the Osterman Jewelers in our small Ohio town, Tiffin, donated them instead.

When I dropped off a paper to the high school principal that explained quadriplegia, he offered me a part-time position in a program for at risk students. There wasn’t any other job I could do and be available to Beth, so I accepted.

I hurried away, suddenly winded with a tightening chest, thudding heart, throbbing head, and dizzying view. Why did I say yes? I had none of Beth’s courage. How much would she need me? How many school days would she miss? My responsibility had doubled, tripled, without the safety net of rehab nurses. Anything could happen and I worried about everything.

6 Comments
Diane Keiser
6/23/2016 02:23:24 pm

Cindy,
All kinds of emotions happen when i read what you post. I am often left with nothing to say. I just wait for the next post.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
6/24/2016 08:11:25 am

Thanks for following my blog, Diane! I try to share some of my emotions in the posts, without being too sentimental...

Reply
Chuck Gregoire
6/23/2016 06:18:40 pm

The bright star in an every post has to be your daughter Beth. Without taking anything away from Cindy and John I have to say Beth is a star.

She give me both hope and perspective for my own life.

As they say, You Go Girl.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
6/24/2016 08:15:26 am

Hi Chuck! Thanks so much for your ongoing support! I'm visiting Beth now, and she still amazes me every day. :-)

Reply
Margery Patterson
6/23/2016 10:32:40 pm

I will never forget those first days home from the rehab hospital with my son Tim, also a C-6, C-7 complete injury. He was trying so hard to build up his strength so he could push up a ramp. Our mall had a small ramp and we could go daily for him to practice. We used to laugh at the dirty looks I would get because I would walk behind him, but wouldn't push, as he struggled to get up the ramp. One lady actually pushed me out of the way, and pushed him up the ramp. Ha! She meant well! Sounds like Beth was amazing, and had some amazing friends. Love reading your blogs! Thanks for writing them!

Reply
Cindy Kolbe
6/24/2016 08:25:48 am

Margery, I don't think we will ever forget those times. Thank you for sharing! You understand how it feels to watch one of your children struggle with something you could do for them easily, but also wanting to support their independence. Tim is amazing, too! I am forever in awe of the resilience we have witnessed. <3

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