STRUGGLING WITH SERENDIPITY
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Photos
  • Press and News
  • Resources

raising the bar

8/16/2017

8 Comments

 
Picture
(This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)

​
My job as group home manager started with a bang. My new boss handed me keys and suggested I meet the residents over the weekend. If the woman on duty asked if she would be my assistant, I should tell her no.

Driving to the home, I passed the pay phone I didn’t use the night of the accident, as well as the field where my car flipped three times. I knocked on the front door and entered a dark, depressing living room. Four residents watched TV while a woman crocheted in a separate room in front of another TV. Most jobs didn’t allow time for staff hobbies, including ones at group homes. I kept quiet and observed. She asked about the assistant position and when I responded, she argued. Leaving shortly after with the residents for an outing, she hit my parked car with the company van.

Presumably by accident.

I worked three 24-hour shifts a week including weekdays while the residents usually attended a workshop. I drove them to numerous doctor visits. I also volunteered additional time when Beth was in school. A mess of paperwork needed to be cleaned up in short order for a state inspection and the house had been neglected to the point of being unhealthy.

I bleached the mold on and in the refrigerator and cleared legions of powdery bugs from overhead lights. I scoured decades of yellow wax off the kitchen floor, cleaned mice droppings out of cupboards, and threw away infested food. My mom helped me replace the wallpaper to brighten the living room.

My hectic paid hours focused on the residents and improving their quality of life. I gave a pep talk at a staff meeting to enlist help to raise the bar. Thankfully, the crocheting woman transferred to another home.

I aimed for a level of care I would want for someone I loved.

With few staff and fewer resources, I fell short. Though I took a small measure of pride in trying. I recognized the seriousness of my responsibilities, aware of my impact on the day-to-day mental and physical health of the residents. Group home managers doubled as underpaid psychologists, nurses, and nutritionists. I expected the job to be taxing, like my earlier Tiffin Center job, where most of the residents had grown up in an institution without a loving family.

The difference at the group home? Working alone most of the time.

I dispensed a complicated litany of pills, my least favorite part of the job—especially when a volatile resident refused to take his psychotropic medicine. Despite behavior plans I followed, I filled out scores of incident reports. I also slept poorly three nights a week on an uncomfortable day bed. But it wasn’t all bad.

Three of the residents played on a basketball team and I cheered for them at games with the fourth. Other outings could be fun, too. Sometimes. In the middle of the night, a deaf resident occasionally switched on his TV and cranked up the sound. He giggled when a sleepy worker stumbled in and out to turn off the volume. I waited to smile until after I turned to walk out of his room.

Next: Beth and Homecoming!

8 Comments
Micki Huysken
8/17/2017 09:13:04 am

This is such an inspiring story. I look forward to the next chapter.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe link
8/20/2017 09:10:47 pm

Thanks, Micki! Lots of serendipity ahead!

Reply
Deb link
8/17/2017 09:33:05 am

You are such a kind and compassionate soul! An inspiration! ❤️

Reply
Cindy Kolbe link
8/20/2017 09:23:52 pm

Hi, Deb! Thank you. It's so nice to hear that my writing resonates with readers!

Reply
Amy Henry link
8/17/2017 03:26:09 pm

Wow, Cyndi, what a job. I can picture the place and your determination to dig out from its "depressed" condition. I may have lost the thread of the story as a whole (I don't always seem to read these "in order")--was Beth still at home with her dad while you were working these 24-hour shifts (brave soul!)? Or was she away? Great story--really gives us a sense of what your life was like at this point.

Reply
Cindy Kolbe link
8/20/2017 09:32:24 pm

Thank you, Amy! Yes, Beth was a senior in high school when I returned to work full-time. John taught school, stayed home with her in the evenings, and drove her to practices for the high school swim team. I wrote the schedule at the group home, so I made sure I was off for swim meets, school events, and Maria's college choir concerts. It was a hectic year!

Reply
Debra Gardner link
7/29/2019 09:30:00 am

This is so well written! Your writing always helps the reader both visualize and feel each moment. How lucky those residents were to have you! Your empathy and kindness are part of who you are, and I'm proud to be your friend! Thanks for sharing this. Maybe one day, mental health facilities like this will be required and financially able to meet higher standards...

Reply
Cindy Kolbe link
7/30/2019 08:52:11 pm

Aw, thanks Deb! Your friendship means so much to me! I think I did a much better job as a group home manager when I was older compared to the first one when I was nineteen. Live and learn! And you're right, the whole system needs an upgrade! Kind of like the education system. ;-)

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Cindy Kolbe

    Sign up for my Just Keep Swimming Newsletter by typing your email address in the box. Thanks!

    * indicates required

    Categories

    All
    Accident
    Adventure
    Anxiety
    Career
    Caregiving
    Chronic Pain
    College
    Counseling
    Depression
    Driving
    Fear
    Floating
    Friends
    Goals
    Graduation
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Group Home
    Guilt
    Harvard
    High School
    High School Swim Team
    Holidays
    Independence
    Injury
    Intensive Care
    Internship
    Job
    Moving
    Occupational Therapy
    Optimism
    Paralympics
    Paralympic Swim Team
    Perspective
    Physical Therapy
    Published Articles
    Rehab
    Road Trip
    Serendipity
    Spinal Cord Injury
    Sports
    Stanford
    Support
    Surgery
    Swim Club Team
    Swim Meet
    Swimming
    Travels
    Video
    Volunteering
    Writing

    Picture

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016

    RSS Feed

    Picture

    Picture

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Picture
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Events
  • Photos
  • Press and News
  • Resources