 My daughter's disability was entirely my fault.
All the things that a mom should do? I failed at the most important one, to keep my child safe. Beth was fourteen years old when I fell asleep at the wheel. She watched the car flip three times and land upside-down in a dark Ohio field. Unable to move on a bed of glass, Beth reassured me, saying, "I'm okay. Everything will be okay." And it was. Eventually. In time. I wish I had known that at the beginning. Despite my life's work with disability, I could only see everything that she had lost. Because of me. At first, I thought that Beth would be limited by her spinal cord injury. Today, I am happy to have been wrong. This new blog will share the highlights of an amazing journey. I hope you will come along!
28 Comments
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:04:28 pm
Thanks so much, Sarah!
Debra
3/17/2016 07:51:15 pm
What a story. I can't wait to read more! Looking forward to reading your blogs.
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:08:02 pm
Deb, I'm glad that you're on this book journey with me. ❤️
Nancy Roberts
3/17/2016 08:21:05 pm
My heart is soaring while I read this post! Cindy, I have always been impressed with you as a parent. I'm so happy that you've finally decided to write about your journey. 💜
Cindy Kolbe
4/15/2016 08:37:51 am
Nancy, I just saw your comment for the first time in a spam folder on Weebly?! Anyway...I am so touched and I appreciate your encouragement to tell our story. I've been working on it a long time so it's very nice to hear that friends are supportive!
Michelle
3/17/2016 08:30:52 pm
I look forward to reading here Cindy! You two have been on such an amazing journey!
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:12:23 pm
Hi Michelle! Serendipity is a wonderful thing!
Karen Henning
3/17/2016 08:36:17 pm
Cindy, I know this situation has totally consumed you. You are such a beautiful person and I hoped in time you would be able to see light at the end of the tunnel for you and for Beth. You both deserve nothing but the very best. All my love to both of you.
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:14:48 pm
Hi Karen, Many thanks for your kind words! The book has helped me move forward.
Martha dickel
3/18/2016 08:32:02 am
Cindy, beautifully written. How do I follow your blog?
Jill Howard
3/18/2016 08:44:40 am
I look forward to reading more! I was heartbroken for you when my mom told me about what had happened. So glad you are able to see the other, better side of this. What strength we have we do not know until we have to draw on it.
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:21:50 pm
Thanks so much, Jill! I feel like Beth was the strong one. Family is everything! :-)
Deb Ostrander
3/18/2016 12:38:29 pm
I love hearing from the Kolbe family........catching up with how everyone is doing.....looking forward to future posts. <3
Cindy
3/18/2016 08:16:45 pm
And we love hearing from you, too! You welcomed us so warmly to our first meeting of the Toledo group. All the best to you and Rich!
Patricia Tremayne
3/19/2016 01:50:03 pm
Cindy, I am so glad you are writing this book. It will be a beautiful story, because you and Beth are amazing and beautiful. Looking forward to reading it.
Cindy
3/19/2016 08:44:16 pm
Hello friend! I miss you! And I so appreciate your kind comments.
deb
3/30/2016 09:33:05 pm
the journey never ends...we just need to have hope for the future.
Cindy
3/31/2016 09:54:45 am
Thanks, Deb! Hope is a powerful thing!
Lindsay
4/5/2016 09:19:21 pm
Beautiful and full of God's grace! I am so excited to read this, And that a friend told me about it! God bless your transparency through sharing this! Many people will be changed! 4/7/2016 10:22:21 am
Hi Lindsay, It's so nice to hear from Tiffin friends. What a caring and supportive community it was for us after the accident! All the best to you and your family!
Denise
10/7/2016 06:58:38 pm
Beautiful story and family
Cindy Kolbe
10/7/2016 08:29:12 pm
I have been so fortunate to have a wonderful family. Thanks so much, Denise!
Bill
12/1/2016 07:13:36 pm
Thank you so much Cindy. I must say I love your blog. Being disabled myself I do have down days and your writings, and Beth's positive outlook on life helps me immeasurably. Thank you again my friend 😊 12/2/2016 06:14:34 pm
Bill, I'm glad that we met on Twitter. Your comments are very appreciated! I am happy to hear that my writings resonate with you in such a positive way! Cindy, in 2012 we were vacationing in the south of France. We rented a car in Marseilles after a long flight and drove almost 3 hours to our destination. I was in the passenger seat, dozing on and off, when I looked up to see my husband had crossed the center line of a two-way road. A car was coming straight at us. I shouted his name (like me, he had momentarily shut his eyes in exhaustion) and he quickly steered the car back into our lane. We were safe. My point is, it could have gone either way. These things happen to the best spouses, the best parents. We are humans and not machines. I hope now that Beth has gone on to do so much with her life, you can finally, deep down where it counts, forgive yourself.
Cindy Kolbe
3/21/2018 04:34:29 pm
Thank you, Amy! When those close-call moments happen, we can be grateful, but not when one of those moments results in tragedy. Thanks to Beth’s optimism and her ability to move forward, I tried to forgive myself for causing her injury. A turning point happened a few years after the accident when a counselor pointed out that being too sleepy impaired my judgment. Before that day, I kept beating myself up over my poor decisions, like driving past a pay phone instead of stopping to call John. Now, I am very grateful to be in a good place, guilt-free! Leave a Reply. |
Cindy KolbeI'm a mom on a mission to share the power of hope and connection! For signed copies of my new memoir, click BOOK. ❤ Cindy
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