The Parapan American Games are held once every four years. In August of 2007, the games took place in Rio de Janeiro.
That year, Brazil hosted 1,150 athletes from 25 countries. When the team landed in Rio, security hurried them from the plane to the terminal because of gang shootings across the runways. They arrived early for swim training and to get over jet lag. Beth’s coach, Peggy, led the U.S. Paralympics Swimming Team as Head Coach for the first time. The team of 14 swimmers voted Beth Co-Captain. Julie O’Neill, promoted to the top spot in U.S. Paralympics, told an Ohio reporter, “Beth just has a great personality. She’s dedicated, intelligent. She’s got all these pieces, and she’s one of the athletes we look to for leadership.” “She’s an incredibly positive person,” Peggy added, “and it rubs off on people she comes in contact with.” Peggy led team-building activities, a few repeated from Beth’s high school and SAK teams. Out of the pool, one involved dividing into groups and picking one in each to chew the most gum as quickly as possible. In the pool, Beth grabbed the ankles of a swimmer ahead of her as they raced a lap. The team played water polo in the deep end while Beth bobbed and treaded water. They also raced with funny strokes. I followed the trip in email newsletters from U.S. Paralympics. They included quotes from the athletes, including Beth. “I am really excited about being here, and I am very honored to serve as the captain for the women’s team. It is a great learning experience for all of us.”
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John and I searched for simple, sparse furnishings for our new Massachusetts apartment in many stores. I shopped with Maria, too, and we checked sales and clearance racks for good deals as always. John teased about metal shelving units in all the rooms, and made do with just one in the garage.
We displayed family pictures everywhere. Our furniture matched for the first time, and I got a kick out of shopping for kitchen towels with a red theme. I found some with brightly-colored poppies, complimenting a set of red bowls with white polka dots. Medication kept the lid on my depression, but failed to stop the headache. The pain level cycled, as always. with my heartbeat throbbing in my head during peak times. The base level had continued to increase very gradually since the onset. Even so, I appreciated the fact that the base level of the headache was manageable. I walked up and down Bear Hill for exercise and helped John get his classroom ready. He had extra work to prepare to teach in a new school system in a new state. He reviewed the curriculum, all new to him. He also had to schedule and study for the teaching tests Massachusetts required, despite his National Board Certification and 30 years of experience. I debated about when to apply for a job. John suggested I postpone job applications until after the Beijing Paralympics, a year away. That was an event I wouldn’t miss, and I planned to stay in China for an extended time. We talked to Beth on the phone from her team camp at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado as they prepared for another adventure in another country. Next: Brazil! At the Paralympic Championships in Vancouver, Canada, Beth excelled in the 200 free. Distance events tapped into her ever-increasing stamina and allowed her to find the best rhythm. They also translated to her top spots in the World Rankings and high odds of earning medals. However, the 100 free event for S3 women at the Beijing Paralympics would be dropped, leaving only two events, the 50 free and 50 back. One length of a long course pool, both sprints.
Not one distance event. Eliminating all except two shortest S3 events for Beijing would carry forward, by precedent, to the next Paralympics, where they might be cut again. At least 90 percent of all Paralympic swimmers carried classifications with higher numbers than Beth. They had opportunities to qualify in many events in a wide range of distances and strokes. Firmly closing the door on distance events, Peggy and the Harvard coaches shifted the focus of Beth’s workouts. They eliminated circle turn practice and added more sprint sets. She wouldn’t race again in the butterfly, breaststroke, individual medley, or 200-meter events. I suggested she reset her first slow American Records, including the 200 back. She also could easily claim more records in other strokes and distances. Beth chose not to reset slow records, or swim other events just to get her name in the records more often. Beth’s forward freestyle progressed to surpass the speed of her double-arm backstroke, making the 50 free her best chance for a medal in Beijing. The freestyle also placed her higher in the World Rankings. She aimed for the 50-meter freestyle American Record, the most difficult in her classification. Beth also shared her newest goal: a small tattoo on her leg when she made the Beijing team. Next: Wrong Moving Address! Beth’s second trip to the Paralympic World Cup in England fell conveniently during reading period, Harvard’s open study time before finals. I stayed home. Peggy flew to Manchester as a Team USA coach. Aware of Beth’s earlier solution for the high bed at the same hotel, Peggy placed the box springs along the wall and left the mattress to sleep on. Beth brought home a bronze international medal.
In Ohio, the two-story Tiffin home we bought in 1984 for $39,000 appraised 23 years later at $105,000. In the midst of the housing crisis, home sales had slowed nationally and even more in Tiffin because of factory closings. We listed the house for $99,000. On a lucky day, a young couple requested a second showing of our home. We told them we would accept an offer of $90,000. The home where we raised our children sold. An early closing date forced us to rent a Tiffin apartment for two months. I turned in my notice at the nursing home and sold our second work car. We left our old house and garden walkways on an emotional day. So many memories. I wish I had kept the seeds of the flowers we called 4 o’clocks. They thrived in the dirt of a front window well. Over decades, the colors blended into one-of-a-kind blooms, each flower unique. At a tiny apartment across town, John and I carried a double mattress to the bedroom floor and a single bed on a metal frame for Beth in the living room. The only other furnishings: a TV, card table, and two matching chairs. And important things, like my African violets. Beth’s sixth swimming summer began with my drive east to pick her up at Harvard and bring her to Tiffin for the last time. She swam with SAK and Peggy at the outdoor pool and on her own at the YMCA. She researched her senior thesis. Always reading, Beth checked off more books on her top one hundred classics list. We both read Jane Austen books and watched movie renditions, always rating the books higher. She completed her Harry Potter collection with the seventh and last, “The Deathly Hallows.” The first 24 hours of sales set a new record with 11 million copies sold. She waited in a long line with Ellen and Lizzy to see the fifth Harry Potter movie, “The Order of the Phoenix.” A dinner in Sandusky with Laraine ended in a teary farewell, probably for the last time. Beth started graduate school applications and made notes for admission essays. “I have met many people with disabilities who are limited by inadequate health services. This stark reality has shifted my focus from a childhood desire to be a doctor to fighting for disability rights.” Next: More Travels! Over a long August weekend, John and I met Beth at the San Antonio airport for our first trip to Texas. Oppressive heat welcomed us. I bothered Beth with temperature checks and wondered who had the idea for a swim meet in Texas in August. Between prelims and finals of the U.S. Paralympics meet, I left a trail of sweat through the River Walk and the Alamo, monitoring Beth’s temperature often. John’s camera captured butterflies on bright flowers, thriving in the stifling heat.
Beth and the other National Team swimmers learned about lactate testing, an important element of competitive swimming. Lactate increased in arm and leg muscles during races, a potential problem if the athlete had another event in the same session. A quick poke for a drop of blood right after her first race revealed Beth's lactate level. After she warmed down with leisurely laps, a coach tested her blood again. If her lactate level was not low enough, she swam slowly for a longer time. Through this process, repeated after other races, they determined the optimum warm down for each swimmer, so muscles would be at peak performance for the next race. Beth’s swim times in San Antonio earned her a place on the World Championship team going to South Africa. Unwilling to miss a month of college, she gave up her slot immediately to allow someone else to go in her place. However, the Beijing Paralympics would not be declined. Her IPC World Rankings rose to fourth and fifth with the 100 and 200 freestyle. As she finished her internship on Capitol Hill, Beth decided Washington, DC was her favorite big city. Losing the last remnants of her shyness, Beth accepted her first dates. She didn’t see her disability or her wheelchair as impediments to dating. She thought about how her next years would revolve around finishing at Harvard and starting graduate school, so at her request, we sold her car to a Toledo friend who needed the hand controls. I would always cherish our fun road trip memories in her little blue car. Next: Career Change! One of the few perks of being a group home manager was making the work schedule. I set up everything at work so I could be off for a long weekend in early December. Beth made her way to Boston’s Logan airport on her own. She traveled with a duffel on her lap and a full backpack on her wheelchair handles, and rode in an accessible taxi to the big airport. She stayed in her manual wheelchair until the plane boarded, when she moved to a small aisle chair to access her seat on the plane. Her wheelchair was tagged and put underneath with the luggage. She kept her duffel and backpack with her on the plane to avoid baggage claim later. After the landing, she was always the last passenger to deboard.
Beth was stuck on the plane until someone brought an aisle chair to carry her back to her own wheelchair. I flew out of Detroit and met Beth at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport. It was wonderful to reconnect with Beth since we had been separated for months, for the first time. I drove a rental car to our familiar hotel across from the university pool complex. I had a cell phone, but no smart phone or GPS, so I had a routine for swim trips. I printed Google maps to navigate around a new city. By the time the two or three day swim meet in a strange city ended, I had just started to gain my bearings. In Minneapolis, I could relax, since I knew where to go from previous swim meets there. I had a good sense of direction. Ever since I grew up a few blocks from Lake Erie in Lorain, Ohio, I could usually find north, to the water, from different places around the state. My lake sense, my true north, didn’t work in other regions, unfortunately. However, my real true north was my family. The beautiful pool at the University of Minnesota bumped down to second on Beth’s list of favorite pools after Harvard’s Blodgett. She achieved an unexpected milestone at the winter meet: a PanAmerican Record in the 100-meter backstroke. She also added a brand new American Record in the 150 IM (backstroke, breast, and free), and reached an amazing fourth place in the IPC World Rankings in the 200 freestyle! If only the 200 free was an official event for her S3 disability classification. With an eye on the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, we hoped it would include at least one longer S3 event. Beth set and reset American Records on the Harvard Women’s Swim Team and the U.S. Paralympics National Team, working toward the perfect freestyle, the ultimate 50-meter freestyle record, and Beijing. Next: Moving On! (This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
The spring sunshine brightened my view. I ran low on my anti-depressant with no refills, so I gradually discontinued the Zoloft and packed for a long weekend abroad. Beth headed back to Boston's Logan airport in May for her first overseas trip, a month after the Michigan meet. She accepted her invitation to the inaugural Paralympic World Cup in Manchester, England. British Paralympics paid the travel expenses for every athlete and coach attending from around the world, with funds from their national lottery. Peggy and I flew to Manchester on our own dimes, though she had started the process to become a U.S. Paralympics coach. I had been to England during my summer as an exchange student in Norway, but only in the London area. We explored Manchester’s stunning town square and massive historic buildings. The large pool complex held teams and spectators from every corner of the world. The World Cup was Beth’s first official meet as a member of Team USA. She didn’t request a personal care assistant for the trip because she didn’t require one, but I missed being with her in the hotel, the locker room, and on deck. Like others on the USA team, even those with better-working hands and arms, Beth squeezed in and out of a new tight leg suit with help from team coaches who called themselves “hiney hikers.” Beth’s hotel bed in Manchester was too high for her to get in it independently. She asked a teammate to remove her twin mattress and prop it along a wall. She slept on the hard box springs to avoid asking for help to get into bed. I didn’t find out until after the trip. It felt strange for Peggy and me to be spectators in the upper stands instead of in the middle of things on deck. She couldn’t sit still and often watched the meet standing up. Beth competed in the 100 freestyle in a mixed heat with swimmers in higher classifications. She reset her American Record in the event, swimming her fastest stroke, the back, during freestyle races. For Beth’s big race, the 50-meter backstroke, Peggy and I watched S3 swimmers wheel or walk to the starting blocks while the announcer introduced them to the overflowing crowd. A wide range of disability was apparent, including cerebral palsy, spinal cord injury, and limb differences. In a perfect world, they all had identical functional abilities. Beth held the world ranking of eighth in the 50 back. She took her place in a full heat of S3 female swimmers for the first time. A rare race with true competitors. After the buzzer sounded, she could see the swimmer in the next lane moving at a similar pace —also a first for Beth. I stood up and cheered as she picked up her pace, touching the wall in time to earn an unexpected third place bronze medal. After the race, officials “tagged” Beth for random drug testing. They followed her to the cool down pool and then to the staging area to be presented with her medal. Kiko, a friendly U.S. Paralympics coach, stayed with her and other teammates being tested, while the rest of the team returned to the hotel. Beth’s times moved her up in the IPC World Rankings to sixth in the 50 backstroke and seventh in both the 50 and 100 freestyle. The last evening at the first World Cup, Team USA celebrated the meet with a pub dinner of fish, chips, and mushy peas. Beth’s food tastes broadened, leaving behind her childhood staple of macaroni and cheese for late night pad Thai with tofu and veggies on Mass Ave, spinach salads in the freshman dining hall, and sushi in Harvard Square. Back home, Peggy shared her thoughts on the World Cup with a reporter. “It’s quite an accomplishment to see Beth take her swimming to such a high level in such a short period of time and know that she is still improving. This was the first international meet for Beth to swim in a whole heat of like disability classifications from all over the world. To place third and earn a Bronze medal is just incredible. There is a big horizon ahead for Beth.” Next: My Alarming New Low! (This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
Later in June, the Greece buzz abruptly fizzled. A phone call from the head of U.S. Paralympics overruled the earlier plans at Trials. He told Beth all swimmers must stay the entire month of September in Athens. No exceptions. She handed me the phone at my request and I attempted to reason with him. When I hung up the phone, we hugged and cried. If only I could make things better, a wish I had made many times. The phone call triggered a decision Beth had made months before. She would not wait a full school year to start college at Harvard, so she immediately gave up her slot on the Athens team to someone else. The fun preparations ended, replaced with the chore of telling family, friends, and reporters the bad news. We tried to focus on the silver lining. Now, she could start at Harvard on time and attend freshman orientation. Discouraged, Beth followed Peggy’s advice and set goals for the next four years. The plan included staying on the U.S. National Team, attending at least three Paralympic meets a year, and swimming on her own at Harvard, following Peggy’s workouts. Beth didn’t expect to practice with the college’s swim team. In four years, she did expect to master the forward freestyle and achieve an out of reach American Record in the 50 free, the hardest in the S3 women’s classification. Beth’s detailed plan led up to an ultimate goal: the 2008 Paralympics in China as a member of Team USA. The Beijing Paralympics would take place in September, a few months after her graduation from Harvard. She would attend graduate school for medical research or law. “I’ve already decided to postpone grad school for a year,” Beth told a reporter in 2004. “Nothing’s going to stop me this time. I want to medal in China.” (This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
Beth’s excitement grew with speaking engagements in Toledo and Tiffin plus interviews for two newspapers. She started a Road to Athens journal with her top three goals for the Greece Paralympics. “First, swim my best and feel good about races. Second, swim in finals one night. Third, have fun with the U.S. team.” The newspaper articles about Beth focused on inspiration, a label she disliked. In her mind, she lived her life the only way she could. In my mind, the word “inspiration” meant different things, some good and some not-so-good. At its best, inspiration motivates in positive ways. At its worst, it insults and exploits. What label would reporters choose if more people with disabilities had a fighting chance, with better support, education, and opportunities? With the Paralympics approaching in September, school schedules would keep the rest of my family home. I researched expensive overseas flights to Greece, as well as hotels. The last hectic month of high school barreled by. For prom, Beth wore a blue chiffon dress that fell below her knees. She sat in her wheelchair with the ends of long ribbons tucked under to avoid a tangle in the wheels. Maria styled her sister’s hair into a fancy "do" with small, shiny barrettes. Beth, Ellen, and Lizzy pretended to be ultra-serious models as they posed for silly pictures before the dance. High school ended in an anti-climactic way, with more important things ahead. At graduation, Beth wheeled up a ramp to the stage at the stadium and spoke to the crowd as one of four valedictorians in the class of 226 students. Ellen, also a valedictorian, gave a speech about how others change our lives. It reminded me of Beth and the song For Good, my favorite from the musical Wicked. On a whim, I bought tickets to see Wicked on Broadway later in the summer with my girls, and planned a road trip to New York City. None of us had ever been to The Big Apple. Another first—one that would establish a new favorite destination. Next: Graduation Celebrations! (This blog tells my family's story. To see more, click "blog" at the top of this webpage.)
We loved the familiar Minneapolis pool complex, a short walk/wheel across the hotel parking lot in brisk April weather. We arrived early on the first competition day for Beth’s first U.S. Paralympic Trials meet. Through warm-ups in a packed pool, driving beats of loud music accented the nervous tension. Beth, wired and ready for her first race, entered the pool from a side corner and dunked under the plastic dividers to get to her lane. Peggy lay flat on her stomach next to the starting block with her shoulders and her head over the pool, reaching down to grab slippery, wet legs. Wearing a Toledo swim cap, Beth floated parallel to the lane lines, her feet touching the wall. Patient practice had resulted in her ability to be still for many long seconds before the official start of the race. the timing crucial. Peggy could only release her ankles—no pushing or helping. About 5’8” tall, Beth erased about a second off each lap of the backstroke, freestyle, and breaststroke with the assisted foot start. Vital seconds. I held my breath as Beth reset her previous American Records in the backstroke for the 100 and 200 free. A great swim! Unfortunately, new records were not sure tickets onto the Paralympics team for an S3 swimmer. The 50 free long course, the hardest S3 record to beat, remained far out of reach as her forward freestyle improved incrementally. Team USA would be in Greece for almost all of September. Peggy requested a meeting to find out if the Athens Paralympics might be possible for Beth. We learned she could be in Greece for the first part of September and return to the U.S. as college classes started. Though missing freshman orientation at Harvard would be necessary. If she made the team. The only S3 female at the meet, again, Beth collected 5 national medals. Our flights east would leave before the team announcement ceremony Sunday morning. After finals on Saturday, the manager called Beth to invite us to her hotel room. I hurried to keep up as she wheeled down a long hall and knocked on a door hesitantly. The smile that greeted us confirmed good news. Beth earned a spot on the team! She could compete in 3 races in Greece, her first trip overseas, before leaving mid-September to start classes at Harvard. Back in the hallway, Beth called her swim coaches while I shared the news with John. Peggy suggested ice cream to celebrate. She officially initiated the longstanding tradition we observed in cities near and far after every swim meet. Over swirls of chocolate, Beth’s enthusiasm flowed with the promise of adventure as an official Paralympian. Next: Flight to Boston! |
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